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Posts Tagged ‘Shruti Tharayil’

ezhava

Friday, September 6th, 2013

Shruti Tharayil

ezhava

is what i am

“we were untouchables” my mother whispered

when i asked where my roots go

 

ezhava

was what i was born as

“you should not claim reservations

use your merits, as you have the privilege”

my father often opined

 

ezhava

an identity erased by history

“…but you don't look like one of us,”

what do you mean?

“you don' look like a dalit

your colour is not dalit!

your clothes are not dalit !

and of course your class is not dalit!”

 

ezhava

so how does one become a dalit?

even if my lived reality sometimes spells out dalit

when you are not yet uppercaste

“we are nambiars!

we don't worship Narayana Guru”

once my friend told me with pride

“don't ever tell my parents that you eat beef

they won't let you in”

“your sister is one of us,

as she married a brahmin”

said another

 

And yet I can never be one of you!!

who legitimizes my existence?

does my colour and my class negate my caste?

the reality that i was born into?

does it debar me from speaking my dalit dialect

does it make me less of an ezhava?

 

ezhava,

an identity i cling on to

the only way to reclaim my past

narratives of resistance and rebellion

questioning my privileges

meandering through the untouched path

towards celebrating being

an ezhava

 

~~

Ezhavas are ex-untouchables who are now categorized as OBCs; they are considered as the most dominant among the Avarnas (that is, the people outside the varna system).

Nambiars are a ritually higher shudra community on par with the Nairs.

 Narayana Guru was an anti-caste ezhava saint of the 19th century. He has been viewed both as a liberating and sanksritiing agent.

Shruti Tharayil works with a non-profit organization in Andhra Pradesh. She works closely with Adivasi, Dalit and pastoralist communities on Women, Violence and Livelihoods with the focus on Food Sovereignty. 

 

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