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‘Rich Dalit with an iPhone’
12

Dr. Abhijit Khandkar

 

He walks in,

his iPhone shining in your face

eclipsing centuries of darkness.

With all that swag, how dare he, this rich Dalit.

Certainly has two more stashed at his bungalow, and surely a Mercedes.

Father an IAS or Doctor, earning more than all the poor Brahmins.

Don’t you tell me he still needs reservations

Centuries of oppression can be covered in two generations.

 

All of that doesn’t happen anymore,

it’s a civilised society.

MiLords are on point

let’s put the cream over them

Make them Constitutional Brahmins

what social disparity?

A Dalit who speaks fluent English, you tell me, is it fair?

Where are his horns, where lies his lair?

Drench him now in the creamy layer!

 

Mahar, Matang, Madiga, Valmiki,

I don’t really care what that is.

All my sympathy with the most deprived

but yes, EWS is necessary

It’s imperative to make Sudama happy.

As long as they remain Dalits,

don’t assert as Ambedkarites Buddhists,

we will be fine.

They will be fine.

See, I have a friend too.

A rich Dalit, and we often together dine

I don’t discriminate now, do I?

even tho he scored 10 marks less than me

and still got the seat.

 

My uncle abroad will get me a job.

I will have to marry into my own caste.

But I am not selfish, you see,

I want to understand and learn.

So, on Dalit atrocities, I will do my research and PhD

About his kin?

I don’t really know

But logic dictates they too would be living in bungalows.

 

And it’s just not us, you see.

The Judge passing the judgment was a SC.

(nudge – nudge, wink – wink)

Also, that’s not nepotism. It’s pure merit

Only certain families are worthy of becoming ‘Your Lordships’

Need to curb this here and now

for the sake of the nation.

Else in the private sector, these Dalits will ask for reservations

You don’t have jobs, can’t start businesses?

Work harder, don’t be lazy.

Learn from Aggarwal sweets, Purohit mart, or Trivedis.

 

Don’t assert, agitate, or organise.

don’t be difficult, stay in line.

Of course, we sympathise with your trauma.

Give us more of that

more trauma, more suffering,

more caste porn err poetry.

to soothe our guilt.

Tell us how you were oppressed,

how you dragged dead carcasses.

 

We shall sigh at every wound.

We shall platform you everywhere –

the token blue – eyed Dalit celebrity.

What more proof do you need of our inclusivity?

Give us all your ‘Dalit poems’

rest of the actual poetry, leave that to us.

It’s not you, it’s your accent, grammar.

Don’t say you want to write about nature, moon

or the freaking Renaissance.

 

We care for you and want the best.

We, too, believe in the Constitution

we, too, believe in Babasaheb.

but don’t scare us away

don’t trigger our collective anxieties

Don’t be the bogeyman Dalit

who stole all our seats.

So put your iPhone away and sit down,

the shine on it is blinding.

Smile, rejoice, drop the frown

We shall make you feel heard, seen.

Dipped in the creamy layer frothing at seams

we shall make you Constitutional Brahmin.

~~~

Dr. Abhijit Shahaji Khandkar is a pathologist and writer with a keen interest in translation. He observes the microcosm world under the lens of his microscope and macrocosm of society with his writing. He is a Dalit poet by assertion and believes all art is political. 

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